With five frozen blue fingers

Curled in each fist,

He’s the official

Christmas spirit protagonist.

He keeps a low profile

For most of the season,

Until his gray matter

Conjures up a reason

To sneak in a commercial

Or holiday show.

Sporting overgrown eyebrows

And an icicle ‘fro,

He pelts happy elves

With sarcastic sleet

And throws cynical snowballs

At smiling kids in the street

While he contorts his pale skin

In a Grinch-like sneer,

Letting no one forget

That he comes each year.